Letters To My BFF -Part 6, A True Friend

Dearest Friend.

Thursday 23rd October 2014.

Today is one of those days I look back on our friendship. Trying to remember everything is hard. 

I read through all the letters in my Facebook inbox last night, starting from September 2007 till February 18th 2013.

I am glad I kept these messages. We said many things in there. 

You'll be glad I saved this. I have something you need to see.. Shhh!!!

Well, All is well today.. Saturday, 25th October 2014.

Not much I can say. Your absence is felt. But I know things will turn out for the better... 

Remember back in September 2008, your Niece was born, and you sent me pics... I remember how proud you were of her and your sister... Your baby sister was finally a mommy... I was happy for all of you... It was not much to go on about for me, as I was always trying to get away since June / July to come see you. Tess and I had a wedding to go to... Another close friend of mine was getting married, plus you were involved with Rick at the time. 

Remember the big dog he bought you.. His name, Gadoof was it? another name that eludes me.. 

You made up such weird and funny names for your pets.... 

I'm finding today hard to remember a lot of things during this time. It was mostly my time with my family, so we spend little time together....

Remember once I came to visit you at Rick's house, while he was at work and Sam was at work. It happened to be my day off and I just needed company. In fact we both needed to catch up, and have some coffee...

Actually I remember once when Sam and I were visiting and you made us each a cup of coffee in the kitchen.. Lol. it was the day you taught me a small lesson.. 

When making coffee, always put the sugar in the cup first before the coffee, as other wise, you will end up messing the sugar with coffee from the spoon. 

You were very particular and tidy those days. Kept a good clean house, You had a fish tank at some stage and once you even watched fish give birth to new fish in there... Not that the environment was very ideal for breeding, yet you made sure it would be. 

I was living in Kloof at the time, when I came to visit.. I won't forget that day. We were really sharing good company and making the most of it. 

2008 and 2009 were pretty much a blur, yet we spent many times speaking to each other... 

It was during this time that your new boyfriend (Web) had ordered that you never have any male friends again. that then I wrote this letter to you... 

"This is a very sad day indeed. (Crying face smile emoticon *teary eyes*) 

I understand. I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend is so insecure and has issues.

You know me. I will not back down and will never stop being your friend, regardless of this issue. I had a bad feeling from day one. and I should have said something.  You have the freedom to choose who you see, want to be friends with and so on. I know if I was your dad / mom, I would not approve of your situation. This is like slavery. If you are not working then this is one of the reasons why you still do not have a job. I am very sorry that this has come to this. Your friendship means the world to me and If his insecurities cause him to lay a hand on you... and I come to hear of it, he will have me to deal with. I will not stand for it.

Charity, you deserve better.

I will then respect his wishes, until such time that you need out, and I will keep sending you small emails of cheer, and laughter, with an sms or two just to say hi. (so that you know that I'm thinking of you) but if you need me, I am just a call away.

P.s. I will suggest keeping my no somewhere safe, cause if he is screening your messages then there is something seriously wrong.

I will send it along on every so often in your email at sniffles or if you have changed that. please send it to me. We need to help if you need it. Understand my concern, Remember, I am psychically connected to you. I dream of incidents concerning you now, I will get upset."

Remember this letter? Well. It stayed with me for years... 

Actually, this is the very same letter I remember you telling me you read over again a few years later back in 2012. Well, It means a lot that you kept it to. 

Fred <3

  

Letters To My BFF - Part 5, A Dog Named Pika

Dear Friend..

2006, Your separation was hard on you, yet you were tough, although you never told anyone... 

I must be honest, I am extremely sorry that during my marriage to Sam, I could not be there for you as I had first promised. 

2007 saw the end of another relationship. Your dog Pika had died. Remember him? It was a heart attack? I remember how adorable he was. I still remember how much you had loved him. He was lovable in all ways, and I still remember having him sit with me on many occasions. 

This was also the year in which you had discovered you had epilepsy, The year was all about self discovery, yet you spend lots of time enjoying your freedom. Which I'm sad to say I was never a part of while I had been married and had my own life to live. I had become settled in my own routine. Yet at the same time I was unsettled with so many questions in my mind.. You, Me, Us? 

Remember your cat? Wish I could remember her / his name. Lol, I say her or his, cause you had incorrectly thought she / he was a female until you took her to the vet once. 

I so remember how funny it was when we later discovered that she was a he. When Living in Jozi, you adopted him. I wasn't happy then, as I have allergies to cats. But despite this, I let it slide. he was the only kitten I got on well with... 

Oh, I still have those same speakers that Pika pissed on... actually you probably don't remember it. But I do. 

2008. Your mom had been in Canada for some time now, and even on the birth of your son, (David) she never made an effort to be there for his birth. I know this broke you terribly. It had hurt you that your mom had never given you the attention that your mom had given your sister... This kind of  thing made me sad for you. Yet you had always been very giving, loving and caring you were very naive just the same. But in the end you grew one tough shell that no one could break. 

I believe this was the year your mom returned from Canada with Gavino. 

Damn, your cat's name eludes me... Maybe one day you will tell me?

Fred <3

Letters To My BFF - Part 4, Back In Durban

Dearest Friend...

Well, As they say.. There is no place like home... or Home is where the heart is... Well, I guess, somehow, I was meant to come back to Durban... My heart was here all along... Considering that you were originally from Durban yourself. "Rough and Tough from the Bluff" 

Well, you certainly live up to that motto. Lol. Well. 

Sam and I are now In Durban, and, well... As our marriage is well onto 2 years now, we have certainly been happy... (or so I thought) I got back, and so many emotions rushed all over me... 

Visiting old friends, and wanting more in my life came out so often. I could not help but search for more... 

It was strange. Although, We made several attempts to visit, I can only remember visiting you at least around 3 times while you and James were together... 

I could not help but feel that there was tension with James, and so we slowly had been drifting apart... It was March, 2005, when we moved back... 

In 2006 June, I remember you calling me at work, and so we chatted. You made an attempt to stay in contact with me.. It was the best feeling... To feel like I was someone's friend and they to wanted it.

Not James though, he had made very little attempt. Even though you were going through so much you had made the effort to be there... Thank you, Of course, at the time, I was "Happily Married"

After all, your reason for the call was... "So when is Sally due?" (My first daughter) Well, I was up in Mt Edgecome, at one of our sites, installing a picket fence, and this was rather an exciting time for both you and I. 

We were Expecting Sally and you were excited for us, despite this. This was also the time you called to say that things were over between yourself and James... 

Yet you stayed in contact... you made an effort to keep the friendship and James was moving on.

I saw a real friend in you.. Your call and presence was gratefully appreciated.

Thank You 

Fred <3

Letters To my BFF - Part 3 - Bun In the Oven

Dearest Friend... 

Remember when you first learned you were pregnant... Oh my you could eat. It seemed like you were eating for four, the munchies, the strange mix of food, Mayonnaise and marmite and peanutbutter. Yip.. what a combination. 

Obvious that was also mixed with Marie biscuits and more tea. 

Obviously we still would spend many more days together growing together as friends... 

Remember those walks to the cafe 2 blocks away? We'd take walks so you could get exercise especially for your baby before he was born... always once a week with me to the shop and back, often to buy your cigarettes, and a few extra necessary groceries.  Oh and the talks we had about our dreams and just random stuff that caught our attention. 

Of course, what wouldn't be complete without taking you to the clinic for your check up. How everyone thought we were a couple, That I was the husband.
I remember waiting with you in the long ques and waiting along while the nurses saw you. Your 1st scan... I felt so honored to have been the first one to see your baby. It was very exciting for me. 

I think those visits were pretty regular. once a month for nine months. I even took you and James to the hospital, plus even picked you up.. 

*Laughing... Okay, looking back it was funny, but at the time it could have proved fatal to your baby, and my life, what with James sitting in the car next to me on the way home from the hospital... Lol. Again it's brake problems. 

Yes, remember how I stopped suddenly, but at the same time trying to be gentle, as the car in front of us had a trailer, and as I came to a stop, I gently bumped his rear end. It was just our luck the driver up front was like.. "Hey, don't worry about it., It's cool" 

Having James shout at me, and warning me to drive more carefully when in the middle of the traffic, I was already driving at a snails pace. But we made it home safely, with you and baby and James and his mom in tact. 

Many early adventures for you and I.. 

Although good times must come to an end, right? I was more sad to see you and James leave for Durban. You remember? ...and when you guys left. It was heartbreaking so much but I knew somehow we would see you guys on our visits to Durbs...

I would miss the company, The arbitrary conversations about fairies, elves, and how we believed that they exist, and because of how humanity had changed, and their belief and religion, that they, "The Old World" had vanished.  I missed the afternoon lunches when James came home, and the family visits from your uncle and his girlfriend... Boy, She could make really amazing Thai food.

Yet of course, Sam and I later moved there.. Remember, 2005, March?
Yes, That was the year and month. 

Letters To My BFF - Part 2, My Excitement

Dearest Friend

Do you remember about 2 months into living with us and I came home in such an excited mood claiming that I had seen the woman of my dreams? Almost like a child at Christmas or as you know me, a puppy seeing his owner after a whole day away from home... 

Who would have thought that 1 year later I would be marrying her... 

I was so happy...
Remember me telling you how I spotted her at first in the store at work. It was a busy day and she and her dad and sister were looking at radios for him... All dressed in black. Looking like my dream girl, all Gothed up in full black attire, wearing this gorgeous black skirt, with doc martins... It was only 3 weeks later that we were to start dating.. It was October 30th. Yes, Halloween was our first date... I still think of her on Halloween.

It was only a year later that she would become my wife. Later the mother of my children in June 2006  Sam gave birth to a beautiful little girl, (Sally)  and in 2010, my second daughter, (Kerry) was born. 

It still feels just like yesterday that us four would spend hours up to 10 talking.. Lol, remember Sam's parents gave her a curfew.. "10pm be home or else" I never knew parents could be so strict until I met her. (Real Afrikaans People with Real Afrikaans values.)

I felt like I was walking on egg shells at times. 

Never mind the time we lost track of time and Sam and I were in Pretoria at Zeplins. 

You remember that book your boyfriend (James) gave Sam. The Satanic bible by Anton Lavey? Well Sam hardly read it, and in our home we finally decided to burn it... We were more religious in a Christian manner and yes our curiosity got the better of both of us. I read the first 3 pages. But it was not for us..

I know he was also changing for the better. After all, James was ready to be a daddy.

And remember those white torn jeans I wore that Sam was always on about.. well that went into the trash. I often remember the days when James used to love picking on me during those days... Lol. I think back, and they were good times... Always picked on and I could always take a joke...

James was somewhat always a wise ass and much smarter than the rest of us... Well, Those were my exciting days of course... 

But More adventures were yet to come...

Fred

Letters To My BFF - Part 1, The Story Begins

It seems just like yesterday that I met you... Johannesburg, 2000.
At first glance. Your eyes... Your smile... Your hair... Your laugh... Nothing seemed too perfect...

But I had no idea what was in store for me, since our meeting...

3 Months later you had moved in... Living with your boyfriend was no trouble at all. It was comforting, to watch you live a happy life, knowing that your future would be a happily married couple together..

It was the year 2000, I remember it clearly... The day was sunny.. a few clouds in the sky... warm.. it was quite a day as I drove your boyfriend to pick you up... in fact, I remember it also being about 2 hours to get there.. In my shoddy little car... with a sticker on the side petrol cap, that read the name of a band, I once managed... "Paper Clip" it read... resembling an image of nothing more than the name itself. A paper clip...

I remember waiting in the car for quite some time... It was not the official day we had met... This was to come about 2 / 3 months later.... I had to wait in the car that day.. Leaving you both some privacy and some time together... I spent that day just waiting...

I guess, I was waiting because it's what I find myself doing now still.
(Which we will get into later.)

--- Finally the day came..

You were moving into our little apartment... it was a 2 bedroom flatlet. at the lower level. 1st floor. I was bewildered at the beauty that would greet me... (as mentioned above) Your eyes, and smile. everything.. at first I thought it was just the physical attraction, and really thought not much of it...

After all, you were my mates woman...

As we all lived together, we decided we would move out into a bigger place together.. It was then, that I knew that we had more in common than I ever thought..

Apart from the past, having similarities in taste in music, your current lifestyle had changed, and your music style was exactly not my forte.. Sufficed to say, neither was my taste in music for you...

(Perhaps a reminder of darker times in your past? A question I never asked, and will never know)

I had worked for a pretty reputable retail company, and your boyfriend had an IT job and was well versed in web design etc...

Because of my company shifts, I had spent much of my days off with you.. (As I'm sure you will remember one such day)

You were now pregnant, and expecting your very first child. You were having morning sickness, and had a headache... it was nearing the time your boyfriend was due to return home for lunch before he went back to work..

Although quite a drive on his bike, he still came to see you every lunch time and stayed for 30 minutes...

Prior to his arrival, I offered to give you a massage, relieving all the pain and discomfort out of your head, Your headache, eyes and nausea had been treated, and you were feeling better...

It was then as you and I started sharing our stories and beliefs... Mostly bordering on music, and Elves and Fairies, all the fantastical creatures we believed existed and we made that final connection..

Nothing more happened then. We never did anything, except talked. Your boyfriend came home and you to had lunch together, he had seen me massage your shoulders. and this had irked him, which later came to play that evening...

Well. I must say, later that evening there was hell to pay.. I was in my room, reading I think, or was it me hiding because I heard him hitting cupboards, and angrily raising his voice at you. For no idea at the time, which only later on, I found out...

It was because he caught us talking and me massaging your shoulders and relieving your pain.

It was only once he left the house that night in a rage, drove off on his bike to cool off, that I came into the room to the damages in the room.

But the biggest damage was only later revealed to me in our friendship... <3

It was then, that I knelt down on both my knees and I made a solemn promise to you, that I would always be there for you till the day I died...

Do you remember these days? any detail of it? I know this is my side of the story and maybe one day you will read these letters here and you will remember your side of the story...

Fred <3